(via induced-serendipity)

Posted on January 28, 2012 via •♥•Memewhore•♥• with 555 notes

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials.

Q:

Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A:

We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q:

Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

A:

Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q:

I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden)

A:

Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q:

Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

A:

What did your last slave die of?

Q:

Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )

A:

A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.

Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not

... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q:

Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

A:

Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q:

Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )

A:

Why? Just use your fingers like we do...

Q:

Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )

A:

You are a British politician, right?

Q:

Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

A:

No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.

Milk is illegal.

Q:

I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A:

It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.

You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q:

Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A:

Only at Christmas.

Posted on January 28, 2012 via Heart's All Gone with 10,191 notes

Novak Djokovic

Tagged: ausopen

Posted on January 28, 2012

martinfreemans:

there are two types of people: those who clear their unused time off the microwave and those who deserve to be burnt at the stake.

THIS

(via induced-serendipity)

Posted on January 27, 2012 via one more miracle for me. with 2,201 notes

myidealhome:

books everywhere (via bookshelfporn)

myidealhome:

books everywhere (via bookshelfporn)

Posted on January 27, 2012 via Bookshelf Porn with 7,059 notes

(Source: countboozy, via paisley-rose)

Posted on January 27, 2012 via Also consider C-Dizzle with 3,872 notes

architectureblog:

Villa Amanzi by Original Vision Architecture

Posted on January 26, 2012 via The Architecture Blog with 806 notes

myidealhome:

clever use of space (via pinterest)

Posted on January 26, 2012 via my ideal home with 418 notes

This is my earliest memory of tennis. The Roddick-El Aynaoui match in the quarter-finals of the 2003 Australian Open was an amazing match to watch. I don’t remember it very well, other than I stayed up super-late to watch it at my grandparents’ house. It’s certainly the most prominent reason why Roddick is one of my favourite players. The final score was 4-6 7-6 (7-5) 4-6 6-4 21-19. At the time, it was the longest ever fifth set in the open era of tennis, at 2 hours and 23 minutes.

Posted on January 26, 2012